You may also find that whispering about how touch feels or being honest about what you want enhances what you are experiencing in the moment. To work up the courage to be more direct, take some time to practice talking dirty on your own. “Practice saying the words and phrases you like out loud in front of the mirror, personalize it (don’t use general terms, make it specific to the person), and then you’re good to go,” says Kova. “Just be patient with yourself in this learning process. It may be new and therefore may seem like fun for a while, but with practice, you’ll feel more free and confident in using it to spice up your life.”
3. Get ice cold.
We’re not talking about the old blowjob cliché of popping an ice cube in your mouth before giving it to your partner. (Though if that’s enough for you, go for it!) Ice cubes are the cheapest sex toy out there, because they allow you to experiment with hot and cold sensations that can turn into an exciting sensory session. Try dragging the ice cube over your partner’s body when things get hot for a chillingly good feeling.
4. Send a spicy text.
Be as brave as your vocabulary allows. You can send a simple, suggestive message, like “I can’t wait to touch you tonight,” or something more adventurous, like a step-by-step guide of what you’ll do to her when she walks. through the door.
5. Tie them up.
Perhaps you have moved away from the idea of slavery because buying handcuffs or other restraints is too unfamiliar to you. If that’s the case, beginners should try something a little more subtle in the BDSM world, like a tie or scarf. You might be surprised – these simple items can open up a world of BDSM sex positions.
You can start by playfully wrapping it around your wrists and securing them to a chair before crouching down on them. Or, if you want a more submissive role, ask your partner if they’d like to tie you to the headboard and have their way. We assume you will get a resounding yes.
6. Wear a blindfold.
In terms of kinky things to try, there’s nothing better than the simplicity and excitement of incorporating a blindfold. You can take that same tie above and use it as a blindfold, shielding your partner’s eyes from your next moves and lightly tickling them, or looking away while he or she teases your body.
When you block out one sense, your body intensifies the others. Touch will feel extra electric and amazing during these sexual acts, just make sure you have a safe word in place in case you get too overwhelmed.
7. Nibble and bite.
Nibbling and biting during sex is a sign of passion. It’s a little naughty and very hot, the perfect way to show how turned on you are. As they kiss, she tests the waters for the first time to see if her partner is alright with a little bit of teeth gently nibbling on her lip. You can also gently drag your teeth over your partner’s shoulders between sensual, open-mouthed kisses on their skin.
8. Try ultra relaxing foreplay.
Two words for you: nude massage. In these stressful times, we could all use a little extra TLC, so treat your partner to a sensual massage. For this foreplay idea, you don’t need anything more than the lotion you already have by your bed, though you can experiment with various lubricants, oils, or massage candles, and be prepared for things to heat up quickly.
9. Get dressed.
Sometimes kinky sex is all about escapism. It can be a great turn-on to step away from your everyday roles and routines to become a sexier and more daring version of yourself, even if it’s only temporary. If you find yourself living your days in a sweat, getting dressed right before you undress can be a great way to put yourself in a good mood. And why not try a uniform? If you’re looking to get out of the routine, dressing up as a doctor or a French maid could be a sexually perverted way to get out of trouble.
10. Whip them.
Spanking can be hot. Having said that, it’s best not to give a scream out of the blue which will only scare your partner and kill the moment. The next time you have that kind of passionate, animalistic sex, give them a light smack on the buttocks with an open palm. If they seem to like it, you can spank them a little harder. Studies have shown that arousal raises our pain threshold, so go for it! Just be sure to check in with your partner before you have sex to understand their level of interest in this type of contact.
11. Or pull their hair.
Don’t underestimate the allure of a firm tug on your partner’s hair. The next time you get it on, run your fingers through his hair and grab it. Give it a gentle tug and you’ll see how they like it. The trick to making it feel good instead of hurting is to grab a larger handful of hair and pull slowly and closer to the scalp.
12. Make noise.
Don’t be afraid to express your sexual fantasies as loud as you can. There’s incredible freedom to vocalize what you want and how good you feel, and your lover will definitely be all ears. If you need to drown out the sound a bit, close the windows and turn up the music volume.
13. Let your partner see you masturbate.
This definitely requires a bit of daring, but putting on a show by letting your partner see you pleasure yourself can be deeply empowering. Look them square in the eye as you do this and it won’t be long before they’re begging you to let them take over.
14. Drip warm oil over your partner with a massage candle.
Don’t panic: massage candles are safe and won’t burn you. They are specifically formulated to heat up and become a sensual oil that you can rub on your partner (but not inside your partner, it is not intended to be used as a lubricant). After the candle turns to liquid oil, blow it out and it will stay liquefied for 30 minutes, long enough to gently drip onto your partner for a spicy massage.
15. Leave windows open.
Engage in a little light display by leaving the blinds open or the window ajar, depending on how far you want to take it. The juxtaposition of the outside world and your private internal sex game makes things even more exciting.
16. Experiment with role playing.
There’s a reason role-playing is one of the most common sexual fantasies: it gives you a chance to let loose and act in ways you wouldn’t necessarily normally behave, and that’s incredibly liberating. “Role-playing can allow you to access your own shadow, the parts of ourselves that we hide, repress, or disown,” says Kova. “It can help you touch parts of yourself that you are disconnected from or fear.”
